Thursday, February 10, 2011

Evil Love

Welcome back, everyone! Due to unfortunate technical issues, the next chapter of "Venus Does Riverview" was sadly postponed. It was supposed to be done the next day, but some things can't be helped, I'm sorry.

A little while? LITTLE??! It's been over a week. My lovely photos have been just sitting there, collecting dust in your photobucket account. Technical issues, my beautiful ass. You DELETED my ENTIRE entry on Friday and then you fell in a parking lot and twisted your ankle. Karma is a bitch, huh?

Wow, Venus, that was surprisingly insensitive, even for you.

You try sitting here with nothing to do but start at a cartoon wall for a week and see how you like it.

My apologies for deleting your entry, I assure you it was as frustrating for me, as it was for you. After all, I *am* the one that does all of the writing. And I didn't necessarily "delete" the entry, I hit backspace and the whole thing disappeared. 

Technicalities. No one cares. Just shut up and write. Imbecile.

I feel the love.

Anyways, Venus obviously isn't very popular around town, although with her sparkling personality, I can't figure out why.

Do you really think that I care what that hillbilly has to say about me? 

I certainly would hope not.

Venus has started to become at peace with her fate, I believe:

It's all that she thinks about. Gold-digging. 

When she's not cleaning up her yard in her unmentionables, that is.

 I'm just trying to add some spice to this neighborhood. Besides, this isn't exactly a classy area, there *is* a junk car in my backyard, after all.


There are times that her evil nature gives my pure joy:

This is going to be good, I can tell!

Well, that was a total FAIL.

What? You scared her, it was great!!

You totally missed the picture where I actually did the "scaring." You suck at life.

*shifts eyes around* 

Thanks a lot, Venus, no one would have noticed that if you hadn't mentioned it! Mistakes happen.

I'm just keepin' it real.

I'm hoping too much damage wasn't done by this little "scare" incident. She is Venus' boss, after all, but they are best friends, so all should be good.

I'm sure that What's-Her-Name is thinking "What in the world is wrong with this girl??"

Venus has had a "hugging" thing, lately. She's always wanting to hug everyone. It disturbs me.

 Evil people don't like hugs.

That's just mean. Evil people need love, too! 

I have a feeling that there is something deeper behind all of this. Like, she's slipping their wallet out of their pocket or something.

That's offensive, maybe I'm just a loving person! 

*dies of laughter*

*fiendishly delighted for the next 6 hours*

The game let me know that...the woman...(is her name Lorraine? I think so. If not, it's my story, and I say she's Lorraine!) was having a bad day, so since Venus has such a SWEET demeanor, I let her comfort her:

 What the ham fat? I'm so gonna get fired. You suck at everything.

Sorry, I totally pictured that going differently.

Before I could let her smooth things over, she got a phone call. 

It was Melvin, asking her to meet him at The Grind.

That was really polite. Just walk off and leave in the middle of a conversation.

Let's old guy with assloads of money - patiently waiting to spend it on me, or weird lady picking at her clothes?

...wonder which one I will choose??!

I think it's pretty obvious which one that Venus would choose.

Although, I'm guessing that hours later, when she was still waiting on Melvin to make it to the club, she was starting to rethink her decision: this like, some sort of old people's night out, or something? What's with all of the elderly people walking around in sweatsuits?

Maybe they are like mall-walkers. Except Riverview doesn't have a mall, so they are forced to walk around The Grind.

Please don't ever let me get old and wrinkly. 

Finally, Venus being...well...Venus...she started screaming about starvation and other unimportant stuff, and then stomped inside to order a pizza.

That was when Melvin decided to make an appearance.

I certainly hope that girl isn't starving to death because she is broke. 

Who cares?

Politicians should care about their people!!

Politicians care about sex, money, and food.


Yes, I'm starving.

It suddenly became painfully apparent that someone else had done a baby-drop:


In a bar. Behind the counter.

Everyone was NOT amused:

I don't know why all of these random babies keep finding their way to Venus. It's like she's meant to be a mother.

DON'T SAY THAT! TAKE IT BACK!! QUICK!! Throw some salt over your shoulder or something!!

...what in the h-e-double hockey sticks is that going to do?

Crap if I know...but do something! The last thing I want is a child!! Especially a baby, all they do is poop and cry. *shivers*

I think it's safe to say that Melvin dislikes children.

Me and Melvin are going to be just fine together. Until he gets caught in a pool with no ladder that just happens to be surrounded by a fence, that is.

Finally, after everyone calmed down about the baby, Venus was able to order her pizza before she expired from starvation.

Venus grabbed a slice and took off like someone was going to steal it from her or something.

Did you happen to think to offer a slice to Melvin? Maybe he's hungry, too.

Well, if he's hungry...there's a pizza sitting there. If he's too stupid to eat, he deserves to starve.

I had to force her into offering him a slice. It's just the right thing to do. He *is* old, after all.

He immediately started thinking of marriage related stuff, so I guess I did something right.



YOU did something right? Don't you mean VENUS did something right?

You only did that because I told you to. If I had just left you to your own devices, you would have just sat there stuffing pizza into your fat face.

My face looks fat?? Isn't there a mod for that? DO SOMETHING!!!

*rolls eyes until they fall out of head*

It doesn't matter. Apparently Melvin is very impressed by you, fat face and all. He was thinking of marriage, after all.

Did you say MARRIAGE??!

Marriage = money. Lots of money for meeeeeeeeeeee.

Enough money to SWIM in. Money, money, money. I'll have a car made of money, that I will drive while wearing my dress made out of money to the bank, to withdraw money, so I can buy a huge house - and fill it with money. 

I'm officially creeped out.


*cowers in corner*

Haha. I get reward points for that.

Venus then decided that she was going to need a drink to get through this with her sanity still in tact. Even if it IS questionable sanity to begin with.

Hey...why doesn't that dude just eat instead of standing there screaming about it?

Because sims are amazingly stupid creatures, of course. If they don't have a creator of awe-inspiring intelligence (such as moi) then they have serious issues.

Well, I certainly wouldn't let hot wings go to waste like that. But, he better hurry up before your simself gets them first:

You evil witch. You just wait to see what I have in store for you. *glares*

Besides, I think between the two, you would be the one I was most worried about stealing the hot wings, anyways. You might not be a fat cow, but a cow nonetheless.

Who cares? I have a drink and a rich, old boyfriend who will hopefully die not long after we are married. Life's good.

After liquoring herself up, she ventured out onto the dance floor with Melvin.

Oh my he ON FIRE??!

God, I hope not. We haven't even gotten married yet, that would be HORRIBLE. That old fart, Henry, would inherit everything. And what would he do with it? Buy a new wardrobe full of plaid blazers? *snickers*

So, there they are "getting down" on the dance floor.

Well, Melvin can't "get down." I'm afraid he might not be able to get back up!

I'm not going to laugh at you because that was horrible. (But, I am laughing a little bit inside)  

Melvin had to abruptly stop his dancing to take care of "bladder issues."

Isn't that what diapers are for?

Pssh, V, not all old people wear diapers!

That's my girl - eye on the prize! I feel like we are making some serious progress, here!

...spoke entirely too soon. 

What in the world is taking him so long??! Hello? I am standing here trying to talk to him and I can't go into the bathroom and talk to him, and it makes me very frustrated - HELP! 

Wow...spaz much??

The life of a sim can be very frustrating sometimes. You just can never understand it until you walk straight through another person, or have a guitar stuck to your body, or something. It's difficult.

Oooo...Melvin. I would be careful with such thoughts. They might come back to haunt you.


How sweet. Aren't our two lovebirds just awesome for one another?

Kiss my ass.

Melvin continued to think about marriage, so Venus decided to act quickly.

She invited him over to her place. It was time to seal the deal.

I'm getting married? Wait. Don't I at least get a pretty dress? What a letdown. What's the point of getting married to some wrinkled, old prune if I don't get a pretty dress? I hate you forever.

Um. No. You're going to, y' your thing.


Ugh. You'll see. Just go home - and bring Melvin with you.

Haha. Look at that old lady. She wishes she was me. She so isn't. I'm the one who got the old guy, she gets a sweatsuit instead. Bwahaha.

They eventually made it to her house, despite the fact that she is despicable, and I can't understand how Melvin tolerates her for more than 5 minutes at a time.

It's called BOOBS! I gots them. 

Yes. I know. We all know. We've seen them.

You're peeking at me in the shower, aren't you?? That's creepy. just normally have them out for public viewing.

Well, how else am I supposed to catch a rich old guy? By being sweet and demure? I laugh.

At that point, I just decided to let Venus work her magic. It usually works so well.

Men, of course, are suckers. So, it didn't take long before things progressed...

This was a bad idea. We should have waited until the wedding night. What if he has a heart attack? This will all be for nothing.

I wouldn't say it was for nothing. It's been good for laughs.

You have the hidden evil trait.

*fiendishly delighted*

I will say that this has been somewhat of an amusing encounter...haha...look at the old guy strut. He thinks he's something. Baahaha.

Venus requested that I not show the entire picture. She didn't want you to see that she was having a "sim moment" while laughing at Melvin.
 That looks painful.

Nah. Just feels like indigestion.

Melvin strutted around the trailer for a few minutes, before he changed into his everyday clothes, and strutted out the door.

*yawn* YURI, please? I've been a good girl.

That could be arranged. You never know what might happen next chapter.

 I can only guarantee it will be full of E-VIL. Mwahahahahahahahahaha.

Tune in next time to find out:

- Is Melvin under her evil spell now?

- Do I ever let her have a go at Yuri Ivanov again?

- Does a handsome stranger make a guest appearance?

Only time will tell. ;-) See ya!  



  1. Oooh, Venus has secured Melvin's attention! I was laughing nonstop during the part about money, haha! This story just keeps getting better and better- and Venus really is diabolical :)

  2. You are right...Venus is PURE evil! She really stood there popping up those thought bubbles for a very long time! *lol* I was like, ya gotta be kidding me!

  3. Loved it! I see Venus is doing a great job on Melvin and she definitely has her eye on the prize.

  4. I told Melvin to run for it.

    Too late, dude is doomed.